PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize