The maid of honor just puked.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
