New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Michael Bay diarrhea
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
