did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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