When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Randomize
