i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
