If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
What a dumb baby whore.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
