i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
