Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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