Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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