idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
