no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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