Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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