OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
