my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize