Please, let me fuck your mom
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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