In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
