I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
