and my herpes radar will keep us safe
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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