i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
