fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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