I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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