There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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