So drunk its hurt
wat bout pragnant strippers??
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
