are you still at the devil's house?
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Randomize
