So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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