You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
