What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
