let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My vagina is officially offended.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
