I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
