We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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