oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
