it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize