I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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