You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
