I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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