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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa

  (281): View more from Texas

  what did you steal

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!

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• (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months

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• (671): View more from Guam

  I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same

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• (408): View more from California

  I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom

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• (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  So apparently I’m into choking now

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