I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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