Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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