i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize