Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
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