Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize