1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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