He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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