For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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