just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
