I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
