This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
