I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
