Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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