Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
