Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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