So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
