Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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