You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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