Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
