I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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