We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
