Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
