So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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