The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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