I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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