That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
