It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
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