I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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