i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
