Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
jump out the window naked night went bad
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
